Kill the “Slut”
While on Twitter yesterday, I noticed a tweet by a Soror of mine that I follow.
It said “Teen sluts on tyra #priceless”… followed by another tweet saying “Girl says she’s been trickin since 14 she been raped But she’s proud of it #priceless”… And that is exactly what I was waiting for. The incidence of abuse. I knew there simply had to be some incident of abuse.
Anyone willing to get on national television to speak on their sexual exploits is either a survivor, or a victim. Don’t be fooled – whenever you find yourself ready to call a girl a dumb slut, think of how we as Americans have already sexualized our youth to groom them into “sluts”. Think about how we have likely silenced whatever voice this victim might have had by our decision to call her a slut. Before we wonder why young women aren’t exercising more caution in their behavior, let us ask ourselves “who is left to raise them?” When girls get raped at supervised school activities on school grounds, who are we to blame but ourselves when their peers stand by and watch? What do we, as a community, expect to come of the victims if we don’t fight to turn them into survivors?
While discussing the 2 1/2 hour gang rape with one of my girlfriends, almost immediately, she started asking me “why on earth was that girl drinking? what an idiot to go down into an alley with a group of boys – why was she so fast?” My question – is why won’t we take responsibility? Why are we rebuking teen victims for their decisions when we won’t take responsibility for their upbringing and protection? Parents need to take responsibility. Communities need to take responsibility. Other teenagers need to take responsibility.
When one girl gets abused, choosing not to get involved so as not to overstep boundaries is a passive aggressive way of saying you don’t care. You’re saying that you believe in living on an island. You’re saying that you think you are impervious to disarray and disorder is permissible, so long as it doesn’t directly interfere with your personal life.
When one girl gets abused, turning a blind eye, or telling her she’s strong, without offering support, or telling her to tough it out, is a passive aggressive way of saying “Fuck it. Rape my daughter.”
So I urge us all to Kill the “slut” – as in, kill that term. Gouge it out of your vocabulary. If the girl you are referring to is a “slut” as you see it, ask yourself – what can I do to help this budding woman become a SURVIVOR and grow from being a lingering VICTIM? Call to arms. Let’s get to work
You are so right, Aisha. For 8 years we had a group of Sexists & Misogynists, in the White House with all the Power of the Bully Pulpit…and they did just that…Bully America & the World…No Shame! There is no Shame in our psyche, it seems. There is shame and there is Shame. Like when we were all twitting about whenwewereyoung…there was shame. It was a moralizing factor in our society. But things began to change in the 60’s with more and more social changes…rock&roll, drugs, promiscuity and other changes. Now I’m not saying it was all bad…I engaged in alot of that freedom. But things got very twisted when the Republicans became invaded by the Reagan Conservatives and the subsequent NEO-Cons…and we are here now. With a crazy Republican fringe taking over the GOP, things are very wacky, they are willing to do whatever it takes to take back power. I don’t believe they will but they are going all out. What does this have to do with that girls rape and nobody defending her? That we have come to find ourselves in this place, means we must speak out like you are doing here. I believe women have so much more Core Power then men do when it comes to social engagement. Men just seem to think with their genitals…but I think that there are many younger guys out there that are different and they need to be brought out. Maybe they are not the Testosterone laden jocks…but they have heart…and heart is where Love comes from and Love is a powerful force. Sensitive young women like you, can help bring these men forward and help women understand that they are Valuable and Worthy without a man, woman partner. For too long in our society women have been taught that they are nothing without a man. I have never understood that…except that it stems from ‘fear’. Well I don’t know if I have made any sense here, but I am happy to see that you have these deep convictions and are speaking out…Peace. Almaar
awesome post! followed this from twitter
now i am looking for the follow button.~c
Pingback: uberVU - social comments
So true. Its always so sad that the woman instantaneously gets the bad rap in any situation. Why did she do this… why did she go there… why did she know them… There is hardly ever any question about the judgment of the person who abused/assaulted/mistreated the woman. That’s the scary part.
The young girl may have made a foolish decision to go drinking with some people, but what comes to mind is those without sin cast the first stone. How many of us didn’t make stupid decisions? How many of us still have poor judgment calls from time to time? The real problem isn’t so much that this young girl decided to drink, the problem is that that there are individuals who have no respect for this young woman or her body. the problem is that there are others who chose to be a part of the problem as opposed to being a part of the solution and putting a stop to this whole thing. The worst that should’ve EVER happen to that poor girl that night was a hangover the next day.
What a powerful voice you have! My first time reading your blog and I really love the viewpoint you have.
I myself have been known to call a girl a ‘slut’ or ‘slutty.’ Thanks for calling me out and challenging me to remove it from my vocabulary. I am going to pass along your blog to others, so hopefully they also can progress.
Great comments on your post, Aisha. I spelled my name wrong on my comment…:)…where is the Follow button your blog?
*claps*
this is such a great post that more people need to read. it’s a shame they way that society treats little girls and then persecutes them. just awful. and being the “innocent bystanders” that people “claim” to be is some bull and horribly frustrating.
thank you!
great post. kill the word slut.
Great post. I do not agree with discarding the term though. I understand that you may disagree with the term and usage, however, it does not eliminate some of the behavior that is often attached to the word itself (I am not referring to victims of sexual abuse/assault). Even (for the sake of arguing) if we eliminated the term, people would simply think of another word to denote and describe promiscuous & lewd behavior/acts.
Be mindful that there also exists a group that actually take pride & pleasure in this word and acts/behavior/attitude that can be attributed to it.
If we were to ‘gouge’ all word that are offensive and hurtful from our vocabulary, it is likely we will not have any adjectives left.
Bond. BlkBond.
I agree, the more I work with kids and see and hear what they go through at home, through social pressures, and through their everyday exposure, it makes me more sensitive to terms that are only meant to demean, and not to uplift/helpout/support, or just plain see the whole picture. People are often too quick to judge… I know, I’ve done it too many times. I’m trying, and hopefully we can all realize that nothing just comes out of thin air- especially behaviors from youth.