Right NOW!

As of late, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been wired to anticipate… Like waiting for that perfect time in my life.  Waiting for a more appropriate time to use the best china, waiting for the right outing to pull out the perfect pumps, waiting for the right guy to give him my all.  Anticipation of the time when I’ll be able to eat where I want to irrespective of price. Waiting for that point in my career when I can walk up to people and say – hi, my name is Aisha… and I am the shit.

What shall we do with ourselves while we are in life’s waiting room?  I need help learning how to appreciate the here and now.  That temporary period when you’re saving money, preparing for a trip, working out, waiting for your fave show to start, waiting for your lover to be available to adore you.  Perhaps we should count waiting room time as blessings.  They help us appreciate the honor and glory that comes once the waiting/limbo period is over. Right  NOW, I am a novice at what I do for a living.  I don’t know much, if anything at all.  I just smile, study, try, and hope my clients are pleased with my work.  Right NOW, my rent is dirt cheap because I’m *supposed* to be saving money, but instead, I live reeeaaally comfortably eating out when I want, shopping when I want, travelling, cabbing it all over the city.  Right NOW, I have people in my life whose roles are quite unclear – waiting for the universe to add form to our relationships.  I feel like I am in a temporary place and everything around me feels so unnatural.  I feel like I stepped out of my skin and it’s getting dry cleaned while I stand aside raw and bare… And I think I know why.

God made us in his image.  We are his most beloved creatures – his true loves.  Being one with God is the most natural organic sensation man could ever experience.  If I don’t feel right in my skin, and the preparation time that I am going through leaves me idling & unappreciative, it means I am separated from God.  God sent His one and only beloved resurrected son to lead us to His throne.  By following Christ and loving him through obedience and devotion, we should feel natural.  God’s love should free us from our sin, an unnatural existence. So the problem I think is my spiritual separation from God.  The solution is tried and true… prayer.