We all KNOW the Serial Rapist
Chances are we know this guy. How many times have we mentioned “how small” New York is? Six degrees of separation? I live in the microcosm of Harlem where I feel like I know everyone and yet this serial rapist is on the prowl. What truly saddens me and breaks my heart is the fact that these random acts of violence are being perpetuated by this mystery man who can only described by this photo. On my way home tonight I noticed several news vans gathered right outside the 147th st exit of the 145th st ABCD train station. Thinking the person who has been violating women from Hamilton Heights, Sugar Hill, Washington Heights and beyond has been caught, I rejoiced in how safe my city has become. Imagine my chagrin when I get phonecalls from fellow neighbors checking to see if I made it home alright since the serial rapist hit again. This time however there is video surveillance – it isn’t that clear, however it is a start. Through the arrest of this individual who is obviously severely disturbed, these senseless depraved acts can be stopped and hopefully he gets whatever he needs to never do this again. But what of sexual assault, sexual abuse and rape that doesn’t make the news?
Which brings me to the purpose behind this post… Given the fact that 60.9% of all rapists are at the very least *acquaintances* to the victim, why is our media waiting for this lone serial rapist to wreck havoc before reporting on violence against women? To me, this screams “if you got raped, since you know the rapist, YOU DESERVED IT”. We trivialize our sisters’ and mothers’ cries for help when someone they could have avoided sexually abuses and rapes them. I am hoping that through the pain suffered by the victims of this serial rapist, we can all take greater measures to raise awarness, take preventative measures to help those who exhibit predatory behavior, and help heal the wounds of our fellow sister and mother victims. Please support the efforts of the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network. We need to get our girls and boys talking about sexual abuse NOW, as children. The impressionable mind is much more difficult to heal as it hardens over age.
wow, yes. i feel the same way, and it’s scary. having my own kids now i want to protect them both from everything, but when they start school or whatever else i won’t be able to watch them and coach them and hold their hands every second. which is really difficult because there are certain traumas that – while healing is always possible – you can never take away from your child or help them to forget. i’m glad you wrote this post. it will have an effect on me, reminding me to do everything in my power to keep them both safe as they go out into the world, and, yes, to educate them both about sexual abuse and other abuses. your words have inspired me to be that much more aware. and at the end of the day, when we’ve done all we can to help our daughters and sons and sisters and mothers, i think it’s important to then pray that God protects them (remembering he helps those who help themselves).
This is a very important piece on a subject that we as men often neglect. I have been in relationships with women who have suffered sexual assault. It can be painful and awkward if a man is not sensitive. I am not an advocate of capital punishment, but rape is a crime where none of the traditional rationals for criminal punishment fit easily because the victim can never be made whole. I applaud you for talking about this.
What would make a man what to force himself on a woman? It is difficult for me to understand. Is it a sickness? Or does this man really think he has the right to take whatever he wants from whichever woman he chooses? Is there a want for control? Is this choice a result of suppressed emotions? We as men are told to suppress our softer, emotional side and be tough! What is lost when we have no way of expressing how we feel?
I believe crimes against woman are connected to society’s image of women. Sure we as men say we honor and respect our women or we would never be that guy that would hit a woman or abuse a woman, but how do we honor woman? How many of us visit strip clubs? You cannot say you respect woman if you participate in activities that degrade her body. I understand respect to be esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person. How many of us grab at women when while we are out or knowing play women for sex? We call them five and three letter names. We lie to them and tell them that we are in love, and then as soon as we lose interest we are out. Sure we are not “forcing” them to do anything, but we play into their emotions to get what we want. Do we care about how they feel? We have unprotected sex with them, make children them and leave them to bare the responsibility to raise the children. I mean it’s cool to call yourself a pimp, right? A pimp is nothing more than a slave master.
We need to evaluate our image of woman! This is what the kids need to talk about.
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This was a really good post Aisha! I agree, we should definitely continue this discussion beyond whenever there’s a known rapist running around. It’s an issue that’s not discussed enough and when it is, victims are often dismissed. Thanks for not being afraid to speak about this.
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simply amazing. my man had to leave the crib early to meet his lady at the abcd stop on 145th tonight. All I kept thinking of was how did she feel? Did she feel helpless, was she afraid that this horrific crime could happen to her. I pray for you ladies until this scum because that’s what he is is captured. be blessed!
I agree that children should be informed of sexual harassment, but more importantly I think they should be taught how to avoid it as well. Rapists look for people who are unaware of their surroundings, and your surroundings isn’t just the apartment complex you’re walking by or the shady person standing at the corner. It is also the state of affairs surrounding you, like your friendly “buddy” who just can’t get enough of you (weirdo?) or the acquaintance who acts as if “no means yes” (psycho?). Trust yourself not others, if your senses say that you should leave then do so. And don’t hesitate. Last but not least, I support the right to bear arms and defend ourselves. If you live in a metropolitan area where it is difficult to obtain a permit, then I would suggest carrying a sharp object. Read the following article if you disagree: http://www.silive.com/news/advance/index.ssf?/base/news/1226667626166540.xml&coll=1
man,man,man this is terrible. When they catch him they should put him in the jail section with the sodomisers!!!!. i believe in and eye for and eye. Men keep looking out for the women until this guy is caught. also their needs to be more information and awarness about the different types of rape, rape provention and what to do if your a victim. It seem like because of the way that women have been treated in the past in rape cases, women dont even want to report accuaintance rape because of the way thay think people will judge them and not the rapist. As a man that buggs me out.
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